


Texting a Landline

by Violsva



Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Gen, Watson's Woes July Writing Prompts 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7606144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violsva/pseuds/Violsva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Mr. Holmes, some scoundrel is impersonating you!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texting a Landline

**Author's Note:**

> For Watson's Woes [July Writing Prompt #27](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/1614818.html).

Mr. Horace Hameldon was a man of firm beliefs and principles. One of those beliefs was that modern society was heading deplorably downhill in both morals and intellect due, among other causes, to the increase of technology, and that the final result for humanity would be at best imbecility and at worst damnation.

I had no personal acquaintance with the man until he arrived in our sitting room doorway waving a telegram over his head.

“Mr. Holmes,” he said, looking at me, “some scoundrel is impersonating you!”

“Do come in,” I said, after the first moment of surprise. “I am Dr. Watson, and this is Mr. Sherlock Holmes.” I gestured to Holmes, who was smoking and watching with amusement from his armchair. “Have a seat.”

“Mr. Holmes,” he said, not sitting, but directing his attention to its proper target, “my name is Hameldon. I wrote to you yesterday, asking for your assistance in a minor domestic matter. I have received a telegram purporting to be in response to that letter, from you. It reads, in its entirety, ‘QUESTION BUTLER STOP SH FINAL STOP.’ I came at once to warn you that your letters are being intercepted.”

“Pardon me,” said Holmes, eyebrows raised, “but what led you to that conclusion?”

“Why, I refuse to believe that such a simplistic message could have come from Sherlock Holmes. Anyone with such powers of intellect as you are famed to have would know how to properly frame a reply.”

Holmes’ eyebrows had risen so high they were nearly escaping his forehead entirely. “In a telegram? Generally the aim is to be as brief as possible.”

“If one must employ such devices, one ought at least to adhere to the same standard of grammar that any man of education would use in any other form of correspondence. Personally, I do not see the need for them at all, and am very near to shutting my door to the messengers entirely.”

“Ah,” said Holmes. “Well, Mr. Hameldon, I am happy to assure you that your fears are unfounded. The telegram was indeed sent by me, and I have nothing to add to its advice. If you do as suggested I believe your domestic difficulties will be immediately cleared up. I must thank you for the wealth of information in your letter, which provided me with all the knowledge I needed, and more besides. I am however rather busy this afternoon, so if that is all -?”

Holmes had been complaining about boredom just this morning, and I highly doubted he had any appointments, but I did not contradict him.


End file.
